Need Help before I blow a fuse.

[sandi2]

I have become a shell of the person I once was. I am scared to be firm because I am scared I'll run her off.

(sigh...... )

Being a firm and decisive MAN is what attracted her to you in the first place. Becoming a shell of the person you once were is what is running her off.

Look, you need to take steps to protect yourself and your children financially, legally, morally and any other way. She is openly disrespecting you! She practically has a "kept man".

What man tells his W it is fine for her to leave their bed and go tend to another man's dogs after midnight? I mean, you may not be able to control her, but you don't have to lay down and act powerless in all of this. Why would she want a H who just turns over and goes back to sleep after she informs him of such BS as your W did? Start standing up for yourself. Find the man you use to be.

You are probably a smart man. But you are not applying your smartness to this situation. You want to play dead and hope it will all go away and she'll magically want to stay in a M with a H she thinks is a doormat. Wrong! Even if by some miracle she decided to stay, she'll never respect you as a man if you don't act like one now.

I am not suggesting you confront her about your suspicions of her A with OM at this time. Get your proof and get your legal protection in order first. B/c once you confront her, she'll be warned and she'll prepare for battle. Right now, she's just playing you for a fool....she thinks.

But here's the main focus for now; start working on yourself to get your masculine confidence back. Stop taking her disrespect. Start standing up to her in other things (other than the A issues.....for now) and then when your lawyer gives you the thumbs up....go after her about the A.

25yrs gave you very good advice and some examples of how to address her disrespect in front of the children and others. This is an excellent starting place for you to make a come-back.