Sigh. Struggling so much to be detached but still responsive to positive gestures on his part.
I find that my responses are probably curt. Not angry, but perhaps could be interpreted that way, especially when I don't really engage in a conversation about something he brings up. (He brought up something about our D3, and asked, 'what do you think?'... I just replied, "sounds good".
But I don't feel like I'm in a place where I can do that and not have any expectations.
He wants to go trick or treating all together, which I know is best for my D, and I should be happy about that. But it also feels so hard.
I know the answers are on this board and that others are struggling with the same thing. Just journaling a little bit to give myself a pep talk I guess.
I saw a man on my way home and tried to imagine him as my D's step father. The thought of that was really unsettling to me.
I'm worried I don't feel strong enough to get through this afternoon showing my best self. But I have no other choice. I am brave enough and strong enough!!
