Dang Heather - you just can't catch a break can you? So much to handle - D with Asperger's, D20 with substance abuse and mood issues (btw, do you think she's actively drinking now? Could account for her inappropriate behavior). I admire you for getting out there and making things happen despite all of this.
As for D20 - once things calm down, perhaps you can sit her down, go over the monthly bills and finances (so she knows what you're up against right now), set some boundaries about what behavior will be tolerated in your home (and calling your mother a pu$$y isn't one of them), and map out strategies to get her where she wants to go.
You can sympathize with the fact that this whole divorce mess has interfered with her schooling (but so has her behavior). You can help her map out a savings goal for school and maybe make a chart or a vision board with her for that. You can listen quietly to her concerns.
You can also help her find some AA meetings and emphasize that she must start attending.
If she doesn't like any of this, she is free to go live with her dad or your mom or whoever.
