Riding the rollercoaster

[Card29]

I do not want her children to hate her or disrespect her in anyway , but i think thats she knows and I know that is precisely what will happen if her two sons find out . This is the biggest reason Ive been trying to keep our marriage together. Whether she sees it or not I am protecting her from that out come

Is that really the biggest reason you want to stay married, to protect her from the consequences of her actions? That is awfully egotistical and controlling. You're trying to control your W and sons' emotions and actions. You can't control them just like they can't control you. You have to learn this dawgy. It has been said to you on here dozens of times now. Yet every time it seems like you acknowledge and agree, then a few days later post something that suggests you did not learn anything.

Listen to what Peter just said, especially at the end where he says

I know it's very difficult to do, and I get caught up in my emotions and imagination daily. But I just catch myself and reel it in. Awareness of your emotional responding is necessary.

Every single one of us gets the same feelings you do...hopeless, yearning for what was lost, etc. It's what you do when those feelings start that counts.

- NOTICE that you are starting to think or feel something that you know will lead down a painful path
- DODGE your thoughts to a different subject or perspective (as Peter suggests, like you're watching a movie)

That takes practice but it is effective.