I said I was having a problem because people are telling me I'm stupid for still being in love with BF, missing him, and admitting I still consider him my soul mate. Don't go to those ^^ people for any type of support. Man, they need to quiet down!
They tell me to bag the idiot and move on because he doesn't deserve me and I don't deserve the crap he dished out. None or very few of us "Deserve" heartache. But life isn't fair and the fact remains that usually, not always but nearly always, the walk away spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend leaves b/c they have felt hurt and their needs were not met for some time.
Sure, there are such things as serial cheaters and our job is to avoid them at all costs. But in a 10 year R you'd probably know if your bf was a serial cheater.
So we have to ask ourselves what WE can do to help change the R. Changing how WE behave inside the relationship, by definition changes it.
Someone responded and told me that's why you don't talk about it to non-DB peeps.
I don't talk negative about BF in any capacity to non-DB peeps, really.
But you said you like sharing all the details and you don't mind talking about your pain. So it's pretty natural they are tired of seeing your pain and they want it to end.
Like the Div Busting book says, it's natural for your friends to say "Drop him" b/c all they see is the pain you feel. Not the growth or introspective journey you are taking.
So I'm a little confused by your comments before and now. Can you see why?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
