wife needs time to figure things out, need advice

[mandown]

I guess the reason why I was concerned is because a I believe that my past has a lot to do with my current sitch. She has trouble believing that I have changed, and that I am continuing to change.

Last night, things got prety bad. To start, I called her best friend to get some advice on the date idea for Bachata lessons. When I called her she was at home.

When I talked to the W earier that day she was gonna go get balloons for my S's bday. She got out at 7....didnt come home until 1130....*sigh* I tried my hardest to not be concerned with it but damn, it got me. I woke up when she got home while she was blowing up the balloons. I just made casual convo about what she got him and such. She told me she went to eat with her best friend....my heart dropped be cause I knew she was lieing.

I told her I knew she didnt go with her, not becasue I was snooping, but because I was asking her friend for the advice and I put it together when she told me that she was with her. To top it off, she used my money to pay for it. The amount seems as if she paid for her and whoever she went with. I asked who it was, she said, I dont have to tell you.

She says that in her mind, we are separated, we talked about the R some, and I said that I do not want the separation, and i don't think that seeing other people will help anyone work on themselves. But she said she cant change the way she feels right now. After some more talking, I said I'm willing to move to my aunts for a few weeks, just to take the edge off of it all, and that I shouldnt be the one to have to move out since Im not the one unsure.

She said that she will move upstairs until she can build more clientel and figure something out. I continued to say that I did not want this, all I want is for her to accept my love, and not give up on us (I know a big no no, but the convo got really deep)

Whats crazy is that when she got ready for bed, she came into the room and said "do you want me to start liviing upstairs tonight?" I said "no". She got in bed, and long story short we ended up having sex. Kind of odd though, she sais "its just sex, if youre gonn **** me then **** me" I was surprised. Its almost as if she wanted me to take advatage of her, nothing too crazy, not like we havent done anything like that before. SHe seemed to really enjoy it.

What is going through her head? It seems like she is a WAW, with MLC and something else in her head. The roller coaster ride hurts!