Toots, couldn't agree more with respect to MC. That's why we aren't doing it currently. It's hard, but with the OM in the picture, there isn't much chance or purpose. We have done some family counselling to get our schedule etc set up. I have made it clear that I am open to MC if the OM is out of the picture and we are working on our R.
Uppercu, the arguments that occur typically revolve around scheduling and her ability to get away and visit OM. She also gets very upset if she feels like she is being blamed. For example, I let my co-coach for my S8's hockey team know that we are S, and it's having an affect on my S8. I also told the teachers at the kids school, to let me know if they notice anything with my children. I told her this to bring her up to speed as to when I had told them, I had first asked her if she was comfortable with this , which she was, but she still flipped out saying the S has no effect on the kids. It seems she wants to remain a pretend family, while she maintains an A. Of course, I'm not interested in that charade.
That being said, we did have a meeting to determine our assets with her cousin acting as a support for her. It was really straightforward and simple, but when the dust settled, my W was crying, and asked "how much do I get paid for the physical abuse and torture that I endured from birthing and nurturing three big babies that destroyed my body from that piece of sh@& sitting right there". And pointed at me. My kids were in another room, I asked her not to verbalize those thoughts around the kids. She went into the bathroom, crying, and I left. Typical pattern. It makes me realize how dysmorphic her body perception is, and really how unhealthy her mind is. It made me sad for her, and sad for my kids. I have in the past validated the changes her body underwent from childbirth. It's a traumatic and incredible body changing experience that I can only imagine. During our M, I was always supportive of my W, so much so that in a letter to me she said she hated me because I loved her no matter how she looked, and if I loved her and she hated herself, she loathed me for loving something she hated. It makes me feel like I can't do any right sometimes.
