I've done better the past few days. Much more detached. Less in pain. Living more me centric. It's not easy but I'm getting the feeling that it's kind of like riding a bike... If you slow down, your balance suffers... Keep pedaling! So that's what I'm doing. Not climbing any mountains just yet, just pedaling on flat ground for now. I'm slowly getting my mind in the right place.
Tonight H texted me asking if he could come over and kiss D goodnight at 7:30 ( that's their usual time to talk on the phone). He came over, played with her and the dog for a bit, chit chatted with me for a bit (no indication of anger or frustration or even hard feelings which is somewhat strange to me), helped ad brush her teeth, tucked her in and then came downstairs and sat on the couch.
We talked about next week and D's karate tournament as well as Halloween and the plan, what time we'd head to our friends' house, etc. I asked him if he'd be able to pick up a veggie platter to bring since I'd be up to my elbows in costume readiness and make up (D's costume requires an HOUR of make up). He said no problem and then got up to leave. Said goodnight and said, "see you tomorrow" with a big smile on his face. Wtf?
Not thinking anything about it. It means nothing. At least nothing significant.
Tomorrow should be very fun. I know d has been excited for weeks. Combine that with the amount of candy she's sure to intake tomorrow and she's going to be insane so I'd better rest up.
I hope you are all well. I'm regaining my inner strength and look forward to providing support again instead of just taking it. Very soon... I hope.
