You know, it's been a month since I've had any non-kid related conversation with my husband, and I'm ok. We hadn't enjoyed one another's company in a couple of years. But I know we're capable of enjoying one another's company, and when I see him I know I feel love for him. But I worry that we'll drift into this huge decision to divorce just out of sheer apathy. Nobody's bothering him so he has no incentive to move closer to me. He no longer calls the kids on the days he doesn't spend with them, so he can maintain the idea that except for being a little down, they're better off with him out of the house.
I feel like it's the idea of marriage I'm standing for rather than the actual guy I married. Does anyone else feel this way?
I'm kind of in that place Claire & 25 described, where if he wants back he knows where to find me, I'm fine either way. That's a little scary. I don't trust that he has enough strength of will to come back. And I don't know how smooth the road home is. (Although I can see him assuming that I'm pining for him indefinitely, since I did give that impression for a long time.)
All will be well, and all will be well...
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
