Mozza (2)

[Mozza]

Unexpected: my W just called to talk about the kids acting up. She was distressed and couldn't handle the situation anymore. D6 has been difficult, demanding candies on a regular basis (big no-no for my W) and giving her attitude and mean looks when my W said no. Apparently, D3 is getting on the game too.

I listened to her, I let her vent, I validated. She said she was exhausted at work and that her boss was being difficult, which is a change because these two were very tight last I heard. I asked her if she wanted to be heard or if she wanted advice after all (her initial request) and she got defensive wondering if I was going to criticize her, then opened the door. I told her to show her love to the kids, to hug them when she would have a difficult conversation. I was thinking of filling the love tank (T5LL). My W has always been snappier with the kids than me, in part because she was raised by an authoritarian mother, and it gets her into those difficult situations where everyone is upset. She asked me if it was difficult for me too and I confirmed that yes, it's difficult for me too. She was relieved by that.

I told her, as difficult as it is, we often have to take the first step to calm down the situation because we,re the adults. She said sometimes she's tired of being the adult.

When the phone call started, my W said she wanted to talk about Halloween and I thought for a second she had misgivings about this stupid costume and pub crawl. Never have any expectations... Also, she spoke to someone and I asked what was going on and she said she was at a shop. I asked if the kids were with her (overhearing) and she said no, they're at the apartment. Alone? "No, with a friend. I don't have to tell you any of that." I didn't insist and didn't even realize we had gotten there.

At the end of the call, she said she shouldn't have called, she should at least have texted to see if I was available. I said it was ok. She seemed happy we spoke, but she didn't seem much calmer.

I don't know what to make of it. I guess it's just a regular parenting phone call. It happens to be the first, that's all.