Don't know if I belong here....

[Okabe]

Thank you both.

I probably do need to back off. I tend to be the person to want to fix things, accept fault, placate the situation in order to end conflict quickly. I am probably trying to "fix" things too hard and as CaliGuy said: it probably feels forced.

Other issues have been that she feels lonely even with me in the same room (that I zone out on the computer). The funny thing is I often felt the same thing, but like her didn't say anything. She is an online gamer and I sometimes would want to do things with her (or spend time) and felt shut out. It was like we both wanted the connection, but neither of us were addressing it as we should've.

The affection is tied to sexual intimacy. I would want intimacy and she would want affection and it would never match up. I thought if I just spoke about it it would change, but too often I just made her feel criticized (which was never my intention).

I know she has also been disappointed in me not making plans for camping trips (which she enjoys) unless our friends were involved. This is true, but not intentional. I think my friend just forced me to plan more, but I am sure she felt slighted by my inaction.

I know she feels isolated. She has her online gaming friends which she's played games with for years, but no one besides me for the most part. We did martial arts together for years, but that ended last fall after a bad shoulder injury for her, so that social outlet went away.

I know something was wrong for the past year and asked her many times if anything was wrong, but was always met with: "I'm fine".

She has told me she is tired and frustrated of the same issues and that over 2 decades if there was going to be a change there would have been, and she is just going to have to deal with that I will never change (which is kind of why I was trying so hard as well I suppose).
Sorry for the long response. It may be a little while before I can respond. I hope this sheds a little light on my situation.