Mindsin - pt. 5 (back to basics)

[25yearsmlc]

I've been having a really down day today. My W sent me an e-mail telling me that she will be going away this weekend (leaving Fri, returning Sun afternoon).

I know I'm not supposed to be focusing on what she's doing, but when my kids keep asking me about her, I just get more and more sick and tired of lying and covering from her. And if she chooses to spend less time with the kids, that doesn't affect me and my desire to make sure I'm there for the kids whenever I can be.

Protect your kids and if that happens to "help" her, so what? How easy or hard do you want it to be for her to choose her family?

Don't make her come home with her tail between her legs/ she never did that to you when you took your 'escorts" out. (I hate the euphemism you use for your adultery and the contrasting way you describe her behavior b/c it's a double standard). But I'll move on....

I'm just finding this really tough, and sometimes I feel like I need to [b]'do or say something'. But that may be just my frustration and impatience talking. Nothing good will come out of me challenging my W's priorities as a mother.
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Your anger and wounded ego/pride are fueling your frustration. Control them better and be the better choice. She still does not believe in the "new you" yet, so until if and when she does, this will sukk.
You need to cope with that.

How? BY GAL and Detaching and being fully present for your children.



I was at my in-laws' house at lunchtime helping out my FIL with a computer issue when I got that e-mail from my W. I vented to him and my MIL a little and I was visibly upset.

Really bad idea for you to do that. Do they know all about YOUR past infidelities and the money issues?


They think at this point, I should pick up the phone and call the OM. Threaten him. He feels free to cohort with my W because there is no threat. They feel that over the months, I have given the OM a level of comfort that he should not be feeling. Even if I don't take action, just the presence of the POSSIBILITY of action could be enough to make him take a step back or two. Maybe it will only take a few words here and there. And if he's truly on the fence (between his W and mine), maybe it could be something that could expedite his decision.

STOP THIS^^^.....

It all sounds really bold, and somewhat extreme, but I must say it is very tempting at this point. It seems like a last resort move (and I'm not talking about LRT).

It's a desperate act and its' stupid in my opinion. You are slowly building your wife's confidence in the new calm confident kind YOU, but now your ego wants to have a temper tantrum and do some weird "anger filled" self righteous garbage and that's tempting to you?

Your growth is more shallow than I realized. What has changed in you? I forget.