About the OM, I am not sure this would be a good move ... I know there were times I wanted to do the same .. her OM was an athletic trainer, I drove by that gym a few times thinking of goin in there, making a lous scene, possibly clocking him with a dumbell ... I get it. You want him GONE and out of the picture.
Reading your past few days, she is connecting with you, you had a good past few days. The A was and is .. built on lies and deciept .. it will run its course, it will not last .. either your W will call it off .. or the OM will. This WILL NOT LAST ... but if you are the one ... lets say you talk to the dude and he tells your W its over .. guess what ... now not are all the marriage issues your fault ... you just ruined another thing she "enjoyed" .. .this will not help you big picture wise.
My W A lasted ... who knows 4 years-12 months... I have no start date .. but I found out in Jan, they were on and off for months after that, I can tell you this .. things changed when I told her the A was disrespectful to me, our marriage, our family, and her family... you can set a boundary .. but you can not get involved in their relationship .. that must run its short life expectancy.
