You think that I'm misinterpreting things, etc. but I've been on here long enough to see PLENTY of posters like you. You have a while before your changes become permanent.
I much appreciate that a vet take interest in my sitch, but it still seems an unfair assessment of my mindset. I said I'm not ready to take my wife back because I'm not done with the changes. I speak to her with my actions only. I've exhibited none of the bad behavior since we separated. I set boundaries because I need to protect myself -- none of them are mean to her or meant to control her. I fail to see a single way in which I've tried to control her since we separated. I don't ask questions about OM, her whereabouts, her intentions, etc. I don't promise, I don't ask, I don't plead. From day 1 with my C, the question has been "Why did I have this behavior that pushed away the woman I love?" I'm here and I read multiple self-improvement books. I freely share incriminating evidence. I resist when I'm told the separation is not my fault. In person, I'm often told to stop blaming myself so much -- perhaps it isn't reflected in what I share here.
I want to learn and take the right steps, but it simply doesn't seem factually correct that I have a bad attitude, try to control her, refuse to change for real, etc. This separation is not my doing alone and I explore how the mix of our personalities has lead to this sad point. This being said, I appreciate you making me reflect deeper on my share of the responsibilities as I want this whole ordeal to change me for the best.
By the way, I'd be happy to know what others think. Am I in denial? Do I have a bad attitude? Do I deny my responsibility in her departure?
Last edited by Mozza; 10/30/1406:29 PM.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
