Mozza (2)

[Mozza]

Of course, my W postponed today's lunch. I expected it when she wrote "Yeah, that should work". It's too bad because I'm in good place today. I slept more than usual (close to 7 hours) and I don't miss her as much as certain days. The day of anger and the day of detachment have a lasting impact. It should now be tomorrow and hope that I'll feel as good.

I have no expectations for this lunch. It's just too early (6 weeks) after she left and she's still in the fog. Anyway, I'm not ready myself. I mostly want to get out alive without saying anything stupid. The next step, is to look good and be funny, confident. There are a few boundary-settings discussions that I want to have.

1. No more stroller in the backyard. She drops it my backyard every day because I live close to the daycare. But it stresses me out that she comes by. There's a stroller parking at the daycare and I'll ask her to drop it there. I'll tell her it's more convenient for her and that I'm uncomfortable with the current arrangement anyway.

2. Monday dinner with kids. I want to take the kids for dinner during her week with them. I've received advice that 7 days in a row is a long time for D3 especially. W said yes for the first two weeks, then said no this week: "It's my week and the kids are happy." I think I'll have to convince her of my good intentions.

3. Godmother. I'll refuse to change D6's godmother to her bad friend, Anna. Their relationship is too tumultuous and I'm not ready to undo decisions we've taken together. It's no more unfair that both godparents are on my side now than it was at the time. I expect a blowup on this, but it's my boundary. I'd feel like a wimp to give in to such a silly idea.

On the appearance front, I'll be wearing a completely new outfit and I've unearthed the cologne she gave me years ago and that I had stopped wearing. It smells fantastic.