Married young, W had affair w/ coworker

[UpperCu]

My IC went well the other day, in my opinion. Same counselor is seeing W and I for IC. He did reveal that nothing had changed for my W, and expressed concern for her, that she doesn't have a clue what she is doing and throwing away. He had positive things to say about me and how I've handled the sitch. He even said he would be flipping her the bird if it was him. I am sure much of that is part of his attempt to build me up and steer me to a happy place. I told him I am committed for the R long term, regardless if the ship appears to be sinking. I told him I am not OK with her continuing this A or others though.

My core boundary is NC between W and OM.

My intel has revealed that W finally got a job... She hasn't told me yet, but we haven't talked or crossed paths since she got it. Preparing myself for that convo, as I feel like she will see the job as "the sh!t hitting the fan" and is probably expecting me to freak out about losing her.

I think it's great she got a job and can now contribute; although it is now more likely she will want to move out and push for separation so she can taste her independence and freedom... It is painful to think about, but like Starsky said early on, she will need to know what it's like without me in her life before she can decide to stay or go.

I'm going to do my best to show support and encouragement.

This weekend she will be at an out of town presentation and will likely cross paths with the OM. She invited a girlfriend to join her, which gives me one tiny ounce of hope she won't be rolling around with OM. Not sure what to think about that yet... It's out of her control if he shows up, but the fact she knows he might be there, to me, is offensive. It's probably going to be a rough weekend.