Let's try this again

[woundedfool]

It still is difficult though.

I never said it would be easy. You still have to put in work, the only difference now is you have two people fighting FOR the marriage, rather then one.

So I do think H is making an effort. Not as much as august-September but still making an effort. A couple weeks ago he wasn't making much of an effort and was semi distant during the time I found out about the text and we had an argument. I ended up having to work several days in a row so I found when I backed off (I was busy at work, no texting, was short with my responses) he pursued further. We do have a lot of work to do and he knows that as well. I guess a big thing is that he still wants to go to C when pre DB he wouldn't be caught dead in a C office.

Good, stay the course, and keep moving forward. Don't forget to keep putting DB principles into action (experimenting, communicating, etc.) and don't be afraid to broaden some other marriage help (retreats, encounters, workshops, etc.).

(In my best Halloween voice): But beware, be conscious you are not exclusively trying to repair the OLD marriage, work toward creating something NEW.