Wife Still in MLC but has now left #6

[LoisB]

I can't do a thing to stop it, but in my religion it's a mortal sin and I won't be able to take communion or get remarried and have it recognized by the church.

Have you talked to a priest or nun about this? I know plenty of unconventional priests and nuns who would support you in the divorce. This was not your choice, it was a necessity because of the financial situation. It's been awhile since Henry the VIII's divorce petition was rejected. Although, in hindsight, the Pope seemed to be dead-on in that particular situation. :-)

Someone posted on my thread a few weeks ago...there are two kinds of blessings in this world... 1) Blessings and 2) Blessings in disguise.

I see a lot of my own situation in yours Matt. I was married, for a long time, to someone who was comfortable in his own shid. He didn't want to change. He felt comfortable in a different lifestyle than the one I choose. And, that's ok. I see now that, just because you love someone, doesn't mean they are the best person for you to hitch your wagon to. Smokey's wagon likes to drift to places that don't work for me.

I still hear you sounding like the victim.

After I worked through the abandonment workbook...I think I realized I was going to stay stuck if I didn't face my own demons and the real reasons I was stuck...nothing to do with Smokey...After, I filled just about every minute with uplifting, spiritual music and Youtube sermons. I'm not as diligent as I was, but I pray through music everyday.

There was one sermon, in particular, that discussed how Nothing You Have Been Through Will Be Wasted...

It was really powerful to me. I began to see the power in my weakness. Do you think you are the only Catholic who has ever had to deal with this particular awful situation? Catherine of Aragon had a similar situation. I'm not sure if she continued to take communion or not? She held her ground though!

My point: What did Moses use to change the world???? A stick. What did David use against Goliath?? A wooden slingshot (not a crossbow)...God is using your situation to help someone else. You pulling yourself out of this mess and moving forward with your life will inspire someone else who hasn't even, yet, considered the possibility of losing their spouse.

Again, are taking anti-depressants or doing anything to help with the depression. I think this is a pivotal piece in moving through the muck. It's unrealistic for you to imagine you can handle all this without some sort of support...medical, spiritual, physical...something.