Thank you Heather, you're the best.
I have started to notice that the worse that things are, the more I ruminate on how things went bad and how they "shouldn't" be like this. It just leads to "stinkin thinkin" that is of no use what so ever! I also have had to get some info to my lawyer and I had been putting it off as I have been using my time to try and find a job. I finally was able to put it together and got it to him today. One step closer to the finalization of the D. It bothers me that I didn't want this, I can't do a thing to stop it, but in my religion it's a mortal sin and I won't be able to take communion or get remarried and have it recognized by the church. This has really started to bother me as the D gets closer. Just one more thing that all this has taken from me. I really need to change things around and start finding ways to use my sitch to make things better.

My D14 has been saying that she wants to stay at her mom's more as that's where all her friends are and of course it helps that she can do whatever she wants after school as her mom isn't home until late every night. I can't blame her and it really isn't about me or wanting to be with her mother more. It's about the fact that she is at the age where she wants to be with her friends and when she is with me she is 30 miles away from them and really has nothing to do but homework and texting. This is what happens when one S moves so far and puts the child in school so far from the other parent. Anyone on here that is going through a S or D, don't let the other S put the kids in school so far from you and your home. If I had it to do over again I wouldn't have allowed it but at the time I wasn't thinking clearly. It may be mute anyway as I may need to take a job where I won't be able to drive her 30 miles each way in the morning and afternoon and she may not be able to stay with me during school. I hate the thought but I have to make a living. I have to say that you are lucky in a way that Smokey just allowed you to take the kids with you. There is an upside to the WAS not caring as much about seeing the kids. Of course, that isn't good for them either and will be hard on them in other ways.

Thanks for posting Heather. You are such an inspiration, seeing how far you have come so fast. Now is my time to do the same!