Did the expotition onto FB help you any with your job search? Did it help you clarify what you want for yourself and the girls by way of a job and new life?
Push that shid far, far away from your heart. Literally, use your hands and push the imaginary manure away from your heart...whenever it creeps into your head space...PUSH IT AWAY.
Step away from the FB.
Are you taking any anti-depressants or doing anything to help you get through to the other side?
I recently read some diary entries I had written from the beginning of August...remember then? I had no job, I had reached my limit with my old, dead life.
These are the best moments, in my opinion, to get guidance from God or whatever you see as your Higher Power. I had too much time on my hands and plenty to worry about...and, when I looked back at my journal...what was I doing? I was praying for a vision of what I wanted. I asked God to show me what He wanted for me and trusted that He would put everything into place for it to happen. But, it had to be a vision separate from Smokey. I had to let him go. Create this new vision.
It's not even November yet...Matt, you were there cheering me on all summer, even when things were at there most bleak.
I can remember my mother looking at me like I was crazy...I was dead broke and I was working through the abandonment workbook I had downloaded. I was broke, had no job, no promise of any money coming in...I spent that free time working on me and I was encouraged by these boards. YOU encouraged me...over and over...to keep plugging away at ME. I uncovered all sorts of shid. Broke some old rusty crap free from my innards. You can do this...but, let her be her crazy self and step away from the trainwreck.
Remember how I had the girls create vision boards? I'm amazed now that we had teh $20 to buy the supplies for the boards.
When we moved out...we looked at our vision boards. We were moving to a place that was pictured on our boards. Mountains and beautiful countryside and beautiful water.
When you don't know what else to do...Do nothing. Get quiet and picture this new life waiting for you. It won't be without its challenges, but it will be ALL yours and it will be FABULOUS. :-)
All you need is the vision, God will put all the rest into place.
Much love to you :-)
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
