I missed this one. Thanks for taking the time to post your point of view and experiences.
My entire point was that what Jay's W is doing is engaging in an affair. It so happens to be with a woman instead of a man. Therefore W's affair partner is OW.
Unlike your son's situation where he realized who he was and did not get married, Jay's wife and Jay have been married for a long time and have a family together. Lord knows how many situations I've seen IRL that a married woman gets into an affair with another woman thinking that it means they're lesbians. After that fling/affair fizzles, the very same women realizes that they still do like men and are still straight. They go on to marry another man. Gosh, another broken family in their wake because of one stupid, momentary lapse...all dopamine!!
It has been reported by other posters here as well. Especially from Ellie (aka kml) and Bug (aka labug) who have witnessed the same phenom in IRL as well and have shared that over time here in the forums as the two examples that I know of. In other words, I am really leery of people labeling a person "gay" or "lesbian" just because they're with the same gender person especially being in a long-term marriage.
For me, FLAG is a great organization to support gay, lesbians, bisexual, and transgendered people. To me, I can see your good intentions by providing information to Jay about PFLAG. It just comes across as if it's okay for Jay's Wife to have an affair with a woman and make it acceptable by saying it's her 'lover' thereby giving this so-called relationship some legitimacy. This is a point where I disagree very strongly.
For a moment, let's switch out W's OW to OM. Say that W is involved with OM, would you say 'oh, that's W's lover. Better figure out a way for your daughters to accept OM. Better talk with your daughters on how to accept the OM.' What's the difference??
This does not make me a Ms. Know It All as you allege here. I have been out as a gay woman from the age of 15 and I am approaching 50. I've lived this life and seen many, many things that you wouldn't imagine at all. It is my life experience.
I know your comments were not directed to me. Please remember that this is a PUBLIC forum where members read and offer their thoughts/opinions/views. If one disagrees or thinks differently, then it is their prerogative to voice their views. That is the utter beauty of DB forums.
