Sorry to hijack slightly but I have a question for sandi (following up from some excellent advice)
Where do you see the line between being friendly and accommodating and being needy/weak?
Don't know how well I can explain it, but I'll make a stab at it. Being friendly is when you respond to another person in a kind, pleasant, courteous, and warm, approachable, manner. You can be friendly to the closest person in your life, or to a total stranger standing next to you. Showing friendliness to another human being should not imply you are in some type of committed relationship with that person.
Accommodating is like being hospitable, neighborly, offering an hand, obliging, doing a favor for someone, etc.
The most confident, respected, masculine, secure, leader of a nation can be friendly and accommodating. It is a very attractive quality in a man. However, once it slides over into a needy/weak position, he loses those wonderful qualities b/c he is seen in a very negative light. Friendly/accommodating is a positive action where he gives of himself to another (briefly or longer). It is independent of requiring or expecting anything in return. Needy/weak is just the opposite and is dependent on someone else, seeking, expecting and requiring of them for his own emotional needs/purposes. (Assuming you are referring to needy/weak in the emotional sense.) His neediness is him wanting the other person to give him whatever he feels he's lacking. It can seem as though he tries to "soak" up the other person to fill himself. That's why it feels draining to have a needy person wrapped around you sucking the breath out of you. It is weakness and it is a turn-off for women to see this emotional weakness in men. We want men who we feel we can depend upon to protect, provide, and care for us. We want them to be stronger than us, really. I think when a woman feels her H is weaker than and more needy than she is.....she loses respect for him. It is not in any way attractive for a man to be emotionally needy/weak. (Of course, I am not referring to any type of mental or physical problem, or even some type of emotional trauma a man might suffer. I am talking about an otherwise healthy and/or "normal" man.) That may not seem fair, but it's just how it has been since the beginning.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
