[quote]And, if I'm making all these changes and YOU all can see that, why is H so closed off and blind to my changes?
This might not be what you want to hear Ss, but we can see and appreciate your changes but didn't live through the bad parts of your marriage. As much as his complaints of PTSD sound silly to me, you have admitted your relationship wasn't so great a lot of the time and that you weren't so nice. And yet you hope (as many of us do) that realizing the error of your ways and saying you are sorry and have changed will make him forget or forgive the bad stuff.
That's not usually how it works, as you well know, having been through your own share of bad stuff. You need to keep up the changes going for a lonnnnnnggg time. And still he may never forgive or forget, who knows.
Give him time. Focus on YOU, not on HIM.
And I'd just like to add, I think you should look at the positives in your situation. Many of us would love to have our WAS coming around all the time, wanting to spend family time. Many of us would KILL to not have the horror of OW/OM and the pain and nightmares that causes. And lastly, many of us thought our marriages were going really well until BD and would happily focus on changing things we did wrong if we could only figure out what those things are...
Your situation is hard, I know, but it could be a lot worse! Just a little perspective.
