Do I walk away from WAW? (2)

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I understand completely about the actions vs statements thing. Its definitely an area I need to bring into much stronger focus, in all areas of my life.

Just to get specific about this particular situation: the issue is that we havent said a word to our kids about what is going on. Its clear that my W feels that her relative absence around the house has been explained/justified/vague/sneaky enough that the kids have no idea what is going on. I agree that this is the case. I also feel implicated in this "pact of silence" for two reasons: I havent said anything to them, and I give vague, comforting explanations when they ask where she is ("shes with a friend, shes doing school work"), and because I feel slightly guilty for when I do take my time out of the house for GAL activities.

So its not that she wants to specifically "tell" S6 not to talk to his teachers, or to intentionally mislead him about whats going on, its that she believes he has no reason to tell them anything, and no reason to feel insecure/worried/afraid right now by what she's doing.

My concern is that when she asks me "what would he have told his teacher?" the implication is that I am the one making an outlandish suggestion that our/her actions are alarming our kids. When she asked this, my reaction was to say "I dont know" and hem and haw, because the only alternative was to say "he would have told his teacher that his mommy isnt around some mornings, or some sundays, and he doesnt know where she is". Saying this to her feels way too confrontational, and I am also plainly afraid of sticking her with that dart.

Im just thinking out loud here. Its not that I feel an urgent need to address this with her, I've been maintaining just fine for months now. But how long can we keep our kids in this limbo?