If a reconciliation is only based on the betrayed spouse keeping up their cheater's love-bank full and maintaining their GAL and 180 changes, then you are choosing a marriage of "What have you done for me lately?" On the other hand, if the cheater has an "aha" moment and really, deeply realizes that betraying trust and harming their children is NOT the way to deal with mariage problems, and actually acts in a way to make amends, which includes expressing remorse, then the marriage is on stronger ground.
The cheater is the kind of person with a moral compass that says it's OK to cheat if my needs aren't met...so....then they need to grow a conscience, plain and simple.
So when in the process do you address your cheating spouse's mis-aligned moral compass? And how do you know it's really changed?
