Okay, so whatever alternative sitch you may have going on I'll put aside for the moment: (I'm all for doing what works for you as a couple, no judgement here, but promises are promises and cheating is cheating, however it looks. The principles for DBing remain the same, I would think.)
Wow. I think you projected just the right amount of empathy coupled with the stance that you will be ok with or without her.
You'd prefer "with", but you'll be all right either way. You let her know you cared, but you'll get through it. You didn't try and "fix" it for her or make her feel better about her circumstances. Which SHE chose.
Clearly this is bothering her, why you're not melting into a puddle of mush.
Good job being a strong and clearly communicating man.
I like it.
Yes. SHE IS far from being your #1 communicating priority. She wants out, she doesn't get to be #1 any more.
That's life.
You continue to be kind, but distant, and focus on yourself and your needs.
In my opinion, you were a bit TOO nice on the outset, but followed up nicely with your "What's important to me/what I'm committed to" statement.
That has "strong man" written all over it.
The other R issues will need to be dealt with later on, the miscommunication and over-stepping of agreements, but for now this is a good start.
---(G)GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
