Raliced - Climbing Without a Rope

[Shakspr]

Truthfully - I worry about STBX. We've all seen the statistics about affair relationships. What happens if/when it ends? He'll have no place to live, no financial cushion and few friends. He'll still be stuck at a job that he hates (I don't think he could pass a background check with another agency anymore - they do interview ex spouses and I won't lie for him), he's alienated his family and thrown away our life.

I spent very little time here and here's why (YMMV!)

I am a rock. If I only had budget for a trailer home or a shotgun shack I could raise my children in it to be happy, healthy and strong. Brains and desire go a long way.

I am the lighthouse. If my XW flames out spectacularly, she will see me as a beacon. Even if that doesn't lead to reconciliation, neither she nor my children will go hungry.

You see the theme around here waver from hopeful to desperate, from strong to weak. But one thing I've noticed that people gravitate to is that moment when each of us recognizes he/she is going to find a better way to live. We choose to change, though it is hard, though the path is long and fraught with obstructions. A life examined. A life of growth. Red in Shawshank Redemption said it best: Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying.

I choose to live.