I thought everything was okay...

[sandi2]

She's saying its much more of an EA than a PA and its done because he's not interested in taking it further.

That's like her saying they slept together and she is still emotionally connected to him. It really doesn't matter if he is not interested in taking things further. What matters is she's hooked on him.

She agreed to MC, but said it was to rebuild trust and not to work on the R.

How does she propose to rebuild trust when she chooses to continue in betraying you?

Later that night, I then pushed too far and said I wasn't really sure what I want to arrange with the kids permanently and also said we should all sit down with the OM and his GF to talk everything over.

LOL! I wonder how much, if anything, OM's GF knows? OM may be feeding her the same ole story of they are "just friends" and he's trying to support her during her troubled M.

When she talked to me it was just how this was all my fault (again) and this friendship with him would not end.

So in other words, she has told you that she chooses another man (friend or not) over her H. Now, if this was a female friend, would that make sense for a W to put her girl friend over her own H? Of course not! Any woman in her right mind would tell the friend, "Sorry, but my H and my M is more important than anything else". So she has given you the truer picture by telling you her so-called friendship with OM will not end. You see where you are ranked in her life.

I think its good progress, I guess.

I must be blind.

IMO, you need to completely back away from her and don't try to "win her back". Move forward with your life and learn to be happy without her. When she gets tired of being OM's left overs, she may begin to crawl out of her waywardness, IDK. But until then, I don't think there is any formula for you, except to drop the rope. Then, in time, if she wants to reconcile.....and if you still want her, the two of you can go to MC to piece the M back together again.