First of all - from reading the backstory - you and your family have had a lot on your plate for many years. I admire you all for your perseverance.
May I add one timid thought re D21? I remember you sharing some of your personal history - and frankly it sounds like you are a pull yourself up by the bootstraps, super overachieving type of guy. Your XW has obviously overcome a lot of hardship as well. Not everyone is like that - and I know of several families where the parents have had to overcome significant hardship in their lives and their children struggle to meet that very high bar.
