No excuses now, but now most of us are not in a place to actively build on the affection. Right now it may seem as "too little too late" to your spouse; especially if she is a WAS.
Maybe some guys get too focused on the fact there is no affection from the WAW. For an undetermined period of time, you have to step back and stop focusing on the lack of affection and turn your concentration to where it started.....and the only one you can do anything about. It's as if you have to start way back to square one. I mean go back to being the man you were before you met/dated your W. Maybe that man needs some improvements. While you are detached and focusing on finding & improving yourself, forget about your payment. Stop watching her to see if she notices or will respond. You are giving "time" and "space" in the MR and you back away from her and her drama. Once you rediscover your self-confidence, masculinity, self-respect, inner strength, charm, polish up the personality & physical body, become more interesting and fun to be around, and anything else you need to tend to......then you are better prepared to face the W...later on. If she sees glimpses of the man she fell in love with once before....it just might stir her curiosity enough and/or appeal to something still buried inside her that will give opportunity for you to ever-so-slowly began developing an emotional connection again. Did you know that the purpose of dating was really designed for the two souls to get to know each other outside of having physical sex together. (Not to get laid, as some may think.)
Quote:
"In most cases, a woman needs to feel emotionally bonded with her husband before she has sex with him. Sex for her becomes a physical expression of that emotional bond. She achieves this feeling through the exchange of affection and undivided attention."
And during the courtship/dating stage, that is what is happening. They both feed each other certain emotional needs. He may not need it as much as she does. He may be building her up or preparing her to want him physically. After marriage, the law of nature (so to speak) does not change in that sense. Women still need to be emotionally built up and feel that connection with the man. When the man has the attitude that it is no longer necessary b/c they are now married, he stops giving her that emotional food he gave during the courtship. He won the girl, so now she should be ready to hop in bed without any work emotionally from him. But then her love tank runs dry and she doesn't want sex. They each stop giving the other one what is needed. So, the other problems follow.
I'm not blaming men. If they don't know, they don't know. And likewise for women. And in today's society, I am surprised any relationships succeed b/c couples are misled and misinformed. They get into the physical sex way too soon and we are reading about more couples where the female's sexual desire starts declining before they even make it to the wedding chapel. So, there is a lot to be said about the pros of emotional courtship.
If the man is smart, he will continue to court his W all down through their M years together.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
