Took a tough blow tonight from D21. She's telling me how she thinks I should handle counseling et al w/ siblings. Says she was subjected to much abuse from me and W and that coupled with a history of abuse and divorce in the family, we should have the kids in counseling early and often.
I'm happy she trusts me enough to tell me this stuff, but since I only agree with about 25% of it, how the heck do I simultaneously validate her and tell her to butt out. She's a blamer and a lasher. I am stymied at how to even begin. Fortunately she blasted all this via text, and she accepted my request for time to respond.
Just, ugh. I wonder if this will ever end. Makes me understand the motivations of the hardcore MLC'er!
Is this your D together with XW or her D or your D?
If you drop the labels you have on her, is there truth to what she says?
Maybe you could have a conversation where you hear her out, if you haven't already. Listen and validate what's true, let the rest go. Don't argue with her, just hear her.
About the advice, you could thank her for her insight and tell her you'll take it under consideration and then do that. She might have insight you don't.
I think medic in the military is a good career choice, it's been the starting point for many careers and it's training for civilian job.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
