I've dropped the rope....

[Sotto]

So, I have been reading the Chump Lady website - Theoden has mentioned it a few times, and it is worth a look very entertaining, but take it with a pinch of salt - her views are at the extreme end. The thing is, I feel like filing for divorce right now!

She advocates 'dump the cheater' pretty much every time. She also has pretty strong (negative) views on the DB approach etc.

I'm not going to file for divorce right now - but it has helped me start to think, after all of this, do I actually want to be with H again? He was unhappy, I didn't understand how much.. He never sat me down and said, I'm so unhappy our marriage is at risk now. He just decided to start 'dating' other women whilst away at work.

Then he had an affair and lied to me for months. And now, he won't even end this affair and recommit to our M. And the OW is a bit of a 'train wreck' who had an affair before and then cheated on here AP with my H. Is this a man I actually want to be married to again?

Some of Starsky's and Theoden's posts really struck a chord too - about the state of mind a WS needs to be in for true reconciliation to happen. My H seems miles away from that.

So, I'm all over the place really - and thinking maybe this is all useful stuff to go through to get to the point of not being so attached to the outcome of H and me getting back together.

What do you think please?