I'm hoping that maybe she will at least start to be more able to have at least a decent co-parenting type relationship moving forward.
Excellent goal! You guys being on the same page is not only a win for the both of you….it is a HUGE win for the kids.
Quote:
Just wondered if I did and said the right thing.
DBing is not about when they do X I do Y. It is a life style. It is a way of communicating with someone. If YOU think and KNOW in YOUR heart that what you are doing is the RIGHT thing – then that is all that matters. IMO, we know when and why we do the things we do…admitting them to ourselves is another story. Be honest with Matt and be Matt – everything else will fall into place.
Good luck on the job search. Have you considered going back to the auto industry? At least…just to keep your options open…
Chin up…
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Something happened this morning that was surprisingly hurtful. Since my W left I have avoided going on Facebook. I figured there was nothing on there that could do me any good and I really didn't want to see when my W changed her status to "single" for sure. Since then I have gotten several notices that my W has posted or shared a link but I haven't looked. Well, this morning I got a notice that my W had shared a link and the topic was "Man says his song is for his wife...." and I decided that I'd look.
When all my M troubles came to a head on B-day, after that I was really lost. During that time there was one song in particular that I really related to and listened to often. That was "Make you feel my love" by Bob Dylan. It sort of summed up how I was feeling at the time. I still can't listen to that song without getting teary. Well, the link my W "shared" was a guy on America's Got Talent singing THAT song to his wife! He did a really great job and everyone loved it. All I can think of is how in the world can my W listen to those words, watch a couple that are so clearly devoted to each other and not feel a thing about the loss of her own M? Of all the millions of songs that there are in the world she posted that one? Doesn't she see the disconnect between what that song is about, the person singing it and the M couple sharing the moment together and what she is doing to her own family and M?
I really thought I was past getting this upset about the loss of my M and anything my W could say or do. Kind of makes me think of the line from Casablanca.."Of all the gin joints in all the world she had to walk into mine", Of all the songs in all the world, my W had to post a heartfelt rendition of THAT song! What happened to the woman who cries at movies and reads romance novels and gets teary eyed? How can she just not see or care how her actions have hurt me and her girls? How can she listen to that song and watch that video and not feel anything?
I know that there are no answers to any of those questions. That I will never understand why she ran from the last 26 years, she doesn't even know the answer to that. It just hit home how lost she is and how totally over my M really is and that feeling s@cks!
I don't know if they see the disconnect or not. I'm a human being as well and something will hit me(very occasionally now)similar to your thoughts......but the answer is the same as it was back then.
You'll never know whats going on in their heads and sometimes I wonder if even they know.
I'd bet my paycheck that she didn't post the song with as much thought as you put into it.
Matt, some advice. Find a couple of songs that inspire you, make them your theme songs.
I'll give you 3 of mine, and if I hear them even now...8 years later they still give me goosebumps.
Move Along - All American Rejects. Not Falling - Mudvayne Black Parade - My Chemical Romance
All the other songs? Stay away from them, especially the sad ones or the love songs.
As to what is she thinking or how could she? Pffftp better ways to go crazy than to try and figure out what someone is thinking especially someone potentially in MLC. Like drinking mercury.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Songs. My, my ...they either make us cry or laugh. Such a wide range of emotions in music.
Let me tell you a short story. Early on just after Ms. Wonka moved out, I watched a biography about Mary Pickford and I cried at the sections when she and Douglas Fairbanks fell deeply in love....AND divorced in the end. Gosh! Turned on the waterworks for sure.
Thanks for the info about your work experience and background. The first thing you would want to think of are what we would call "transferable" skills. Those are the skills you can carry over in any other industry.
Another thing you might want to keep in mind about your transfer skills are the sustainability of a certain field. For example, the oil industry is reliant on fossil fuel which is starting to go by the wayside slowly but surely. It is something for you to think about when assessing your next job. You don't want to wither on the vine that is no longer plentiful.
In the foreseeable future, there will be an explosion of digital imagery such as X-rays, etc as more and more of the healthcare services are migrating to virtual files (and nearly paperless).
Other sources to look at are the local business journals. They contain chock full of information of area businesses and movements such as recent hires, M & A. Beside business related information, they usually contain info on networking nights. You might want to take advantage of them! You might want to scour the local library and look up business journals. It also won't hurt to take a look at the local Chamber of Commerce for opportunities as well.
As Eric suggested earlier, look into consulting. In Boston, the largest consulting company was Boston Consulting and Bain. I can only imagine that Houston and cities close by would have a consulting firm or two that has personnel with your background and expertise. The beauty of working for a consulting company is that it is not entirely reliant on sales or commissions.
Thanks Wonka. I really have a history of entering "dying" industries! I started at the 2nd to last nuclear power plant built in the US almost 30 years ago and now I'm in oil! The thing about sales is I keep getting calls from insurance companies and MLM's and I end up wasting so much time on them. I actually wouldn't mind going back into a technical field but probably will need to take some courses to get up to speed since it's been so long.
As for the song thing, like Jack said, I'm sure my W didn't think very much about what she posted. I know that her empathy chip is on the fritz but in the past she was just so emotional and for her to post something like that. Not just the song but the whole thing where he and his wife are on stage together and talking about all their years together, how they stuck it out in good times and bad and how they backed each other...it just seems so odd for someone who is dumping their 21 year long M to post! Those MLCers, God bless their cold little, clueless hearts!!
