Should I wait and see, or move to file first?

[blndsid]

I met with an ATTY last week to discuss the D. I wasn't sure as I didn't want to jump the gun or go off half cocked. So I decided to wait until W got back from her work conference (with OM1) and see if time apart might have swayed her one way or the other. She text at 6:45 to say she was about to board the plane. Her flight landed at 9:50 (same flight as OM1). She got home at 1:00am. Didn't contact me to let me know she'd be late. Next morning I didn't even mention a thing about it.

I decided to look at her texting log from Sunday until today. She text OM2 right after me at 6:47. Then another number, aka OM3, who met her at a bar about 11:00pm. After the 2 hour break, she text him one last time about 1:00am. Not sure the whole story of course, but she didn't even respect me enough to text and say she'd be late. At least she didn't lie, I guess, since I didn't ask about it.

Considering those things listed above, her complete lack of respect, and how she was clearly rubbing my face in it, followed by long discussions with friends and my best man (as solid as they come), I went down and started the filing process today. Paid the retainer and go back Thursday for the nitty gritty details. I won't say a word to her about it until I hear it has been delivered to the courthouse.

Through it all today, I didn't feel bad when she got home. Not sad, but almost a relief that my days of reviewing phone bills and e-mails were over. However, this evening as I took my boys for a walk, I wondered how I/we would have to try to explain to S5 and S3 what was going on. Also, the thought of telling my brothers and mother the truth just about brought me down. However, seeing my wife tonight, it brought that sense of relief.

Looking at her picture earlier, taken before this all supposedly started, I just wonder where the monster came from who took over my lovely wife and the mother of my kids. It's ugly, and I don't understand that part at all.