Married young, W had affair w/ coworker

[UpperCu]

Thanks for the insight Sandi.

This weekend we talked several times and my W told me she is just waiting for me to retaliate and start hating her. I told her that she was my friend first, that we had a good friendship before we ever started to date. It was actually an "awkward" part about how our relationship started out...

Our first kiss felt to me like I was kissing my sister because we were such good friends! She was also very adamant about not wanting to be called my "girlfriend" at the time since she didn't want to seem like she belonged to me. I wasn't in a rush to get serious, as I had been burned in the past by previous breakups, so I agreed that was fine. She eventually was the one who wanted to know where we stood and suggested we let others know we were officially together. She assured me it would be many years before she would ever consider marriage (once again I had no reason to hurry so I let her set the pace there). She of course was the one to continue to bring up the topic of M and I listened and thought about the idea. After we were dating for a few months I told her I loved her, she looked at me like I was nuts, but several weeks later she came to me crying one night professing she loved me too. After 2 1/2 years of dating I proposed, which was followed by a one year engagement.

When we talked this weekend she was very open about her feelings and said she felt like it would hurt me since they are such negative feelings about me and our R. I assured her I wanted to know how she really felt, good and bad. She said it was surprising to hear me say she was my friend above everything. She didn't expect me to have that reaction. She said in all the blogs she reads, the aftermath of an A is much messier and hateful.

I'm feeling hurt right now as I hold out in limbo, but trying to keep it together. W had IC this morning and I have it this evening. I haven't heard from her in a couple days.

Please keep me in your prayers!