Today I'm struggling with people that are adamant that if I don't decide BF's a lying cheating a$$hole and just "get over him already" that I'm a weak person and what the heck is wrong with me.
I feel like I have no where to go (but here!) to talk about this, and even making comments on Facebook is a serious no-no because everyone feels the need to jump in and tell me how I'm supposed to feel.
I'm not a moron. Yes, of course I feel like he's a lying, cheating a$$hole. I also feel like he's my soul mate, but unless you're IN MY BODY you don't get why. You also don't HAVE to get why, nor do I need to explain it to you. You can be deeply loved and appreciated and still do things that make you look like an a$$hole, you know. I've done some of things that would peg me as an a$$hole, myself, in my life time.
I feel like he's better than the mistakes he's made and he has the ability to be a stand-up person when he's making the choice to acknowledge his flaws and not let them become his default behaviors.
Let's be honest: I made mistakes in our relationship just as much as he has, and the blame is on both of us, not just one. No one's actions exist in a vacuum, but are a sum of what happens to you and how you respond to it; right or wrong. You have absolutely ZERO idea what happens behind closed doors, the emotions involved, the behaviors and instances involved, and so on and so forth. In sum, you know absolutely NOTHING.
I could go on and on and on but really I feel like that's all anyone needs to be privy to in terms of "correcting" me every time I even so much as hint that I miss him and/or are having trouble getting past this.
Plus, it was a 10 year relationship that's been over for all over three months, give me some slack.
Phew. I wish more people on the outside got the DB point of view.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
