Whose idea was it for her to have the DB coaching session? Does she know about this board?
Quote:
Detatching does not seem to work with her,
Okay, Hrdtims, "detaching" is not for her. It is to help you. If you mean your detaching does not get a response from her, then you misunderstand the concept. Could you help me understand how you mean this statement?
Quote:
I told her that I would support her if she wanted to move out,
I personally do not agree with supporting her actions that you already believe you will resent. Do not tell her you will support her. If she wants to live without you, then she should do it without your money. Where will the kids stay? Will you have them 50% of the time? I would consult with a lawyer before telling her anything about financial support. Find out about your rights.
Quote:
I almost want to give her a ultimatum and ask to either put back on her rings and be my W or move out until she can figure it out but am afraid.
First of all, WAW's do not respond well to an ultimatum. Never ever use it as a bluff b/c she will call your hand on it. Then you better be prepared to back up your words!
Instead of ultimatums, learn about "boundaries" and how to establish them. Boundaries are not about controlling the other person, but they are to protect yourself. You are the only one you can control.
You probably already know this, but in case somebody is reading this post who doesn't.....I'll throw it in. Most men seem to make a "connection" with their W through making love with them. However, most women need to feel an emotional connection with their H in order to desire making love. Strange, huh?
From the outsider's view, it seems your W has felt the lack of an emotional connection with you for quite some time. This lack of connection caused her desire for sex to take a dive. When you felt her lack of desire for you, you felt rejected and turned cold on her. So things went from bad to worse. If you can learn how to make an emotional connection with her, I think she will warm up towards you.
If she has made an emotional connection with another man, then the stitch is automatically complicated. Why? B/c she has allowed a third party into the M (even if it's just emotionally). For a woman, that's a big deal. Remember, she needs to feel the connection emotionally before she wants it physically. If OM is fulfilling her emotional needs, it's a matter of time before it will lead to a physical connection.
So, what 180's have you done?
Hrdtms, all of this. ^^^^
If your wife wants to leave the marriage, then you need to get some legal advice pronto and SHE needs to learn to put on her BGPs. You can't control her nor prevent her from running away from your family, but you certainly don't need to finance the flight.
