Shall hate be fairer lodged than gentle love?

[Shakspr]

Well, bravo, my W was in sprint mode the whole way, so I'm not certain what you mean by your W "mentioning doing things together." My W filed, waited 61 days as is mandated by the State of TX, and finalized. I did not fight her. Agreed to a very reasonable deal that she will likely grow to regret.

Perhaps your W wanted the details spelled out to give her a picture of what things would look like, but now is reconsidering. Or maybe...doesn't matter. Mind reading.

Ask her what she wants. Use your knowledge of her LLs to gain clarity.

And keep DB'g. If you still stand for the marriage, do every single thing purposefully. Ask yourself, "What kind of man am I? What kinds of man do I want to be?" The final three weeks leading to our D finalization were the worst time of my life. I cycled through emotions. I couldn't control everything, but managed not to lash out. Loved on my kids. Refused to badmouth my W or allow others to do so. And I had to tell my Mom about it (ugh!)

I do now have one answer to a question posed frequently here. How do I remain friendly without being "Friend-zoned) by the XW or separated spouse. Here's how it looks to me (so far):

1) I only initiate interactions that apply to our children or shared responsibilities that still need to be divided (car insurance, for example, or health care.) I am all business for these things, but cordial.

2) When she initiates a convo (via text or voice), responds with a friendly tone, or changes the subject after handling our business, I allow myself to be silly or humorous or just friendly. And I let her have the last word. Always. This should leave her content or curious.

She remains curious about me, usually expressed through concern "How are you doing/how are you holding up?" I respond with latest GAL or something we once shared but now do separately (working out, time with friends.) I haven't yet gotten to the point where I am intentionally mysterious. That's coming soon.

The only mental/emotional battle I have left in my head/heart is the contemplation of her budding R with OM. I will admit to some of my darker emotions on that one. Gotta shake it off, and continue to be a better option in every way. Already looking for some new clothes to go pick up the kids in tomorrow. 'Cuz I'm gonna look GOOD.