Going Down Hill

[Card29]

I admit I'm not a vet. Take my advice with a grain of salt and trust the vets over me. But I don't see any good thing in you continuing to have convos with her that end in fights every time. Until you learn how to deal with those talks, avoid them. Don't initiate them, and if she does, if you feel it going down a similar path, ask her if you can talk about it another time when you are ready. Someone else might have a more clever line to use.

[zed]

Been in a really dark place last couple days. Having troubles feeling good about this situation at all. Talk to coach, therapist, keep working out and trying to GAL. But still feel like im going downhill. Not looking forward to mediation. Not looking forward to W or me moving out, less time with kids. Not looking forward to Christmas being by myself. This [censored]

[bravo61]

In reference to GAL, do or do not there is no try. That said, yeah this all six. Try to pick one thing fun to do for yourself every day and do it. Make a checklist if you need to. If nothing else you'll have a sense of accomplishment as you go through the list which will give you more confidence. Don't give up!!!

[Drew]

What hobbies did you have before you were married that you've set aside?

[zed]

What hobbies did you have before you were married that you've set aside?

Drinking and Partying. But I don't think that is a good idea right now.

[zed]

So my W keeps sending me links to these hand picked articles about how people are happier after splitting and their children are alright. She asks me what I think and if it helps. I haven't said anything back. All these articles are when both people want the separation. I DO NOT this separation. I believe it is bad for the kids. I have told her this many of times. I do not want to tell her again as I know she will get upset and it will not get anywhere. I guess I will just keep avoiding the situation for now

[Mozza]

So my W keeps sending me links to these hand picked articles about how people are happier after splitting and their children are alright.

I understand how you feel. On a related note, this is the very reason why one of the 37 rules is not to share articles about M with our WAS. On the other side, it is not well received because it doesn't confirm a choice that's already made and felt. Your W's behavior is a great teaching moment for us, LBS.

I don't really know what you can say back. Perhaps a simple thank you, perhaps adding that you appreciate how she shares information to help you understand her perspective.

[Drew]

So my W keeps sending me links to these hand picked articles about how people are happier after splitting and their children are alright. She asks me what I think and if it helps. I haven't said anything back. All these articles are when both people want the separation. I DO NOT this separation. I believe it is bad for the kids. I have told her this many of times. I do not want to tell her again as I know she will get upset and it will not get anywhere. I guess I will just keep avoiding the situation for now

More eggshells.....

Why don't you just be honest with her? In a nice way, of course.

"Thanks, but I really don't need you to send me these."

Then hit delete.

[zed]

I feel like I might have PMS. One minute I'm feeling good then in 2 seconds flat I'm back down. I am having a hard time coping right now. W says she does not love me b/c she felt neglected and didn't feel loved. Why can't she just see that I always loved her and just didn't know how to show it....

[bravo61]

Zed,
U are not alone. I showed my wife through gifts, her love language are words of affirmation. If I'd known then then what I know now...
But we are where we are, unfortunately. You can still show her love by listening to her. And actions speak louder than words. Or some other platitude that's meant to help us all right now. Seriously though, just do your best, that's all u can do. Prayers.