Yes, I mentioned the job in NorCal, he encouraged me to apply. He even said something about how the universe is clearly encouraging me to move up there, too. I said, "you'd be ok with me taking D up there?" His response? "Absolutely! The schools up there are great, I think she'd love it up there".
Uh, ok.
He really is all over the place. This isn't all that new, he's a scattered guy typically but he would never see the merit in it or look inwardly to see there's no logic in all this. It's illogical for me to expect that there would be, too.
He sees himself as very grounded and logical. He claims to think everything through very thoroughly (I'll bet, he wanted a divorce a full year before informing me, now THAT is thinking it through). I often criticized him for not thinking things through very well or taking preventative/anticipatory action. Then, when things would crumble around his ankles, he'd complain that everyone is out to get him but never consider that maybe he didn't think it out well enough. Whatever...
I do need to think about this move more carefully.
Labug, of course you're right. She needs her daddy. The reality is, even prior to BD he was rarely around because he was escaping to work even when he didn't have work. When he does, all bets are off, he is genuinely not around and frequently sleeps at the studio. She sees him now on Wednesdays and every other weekend (and all the other times he's over these days) and that is A LOT more than he saw her prior to BD. Prior to BD he didn't even call to say goodnight to her, he'd go weeks without seeing her for more than 15 minutes before school and he'd be yelling or critical of her during that time. Of course, he now claims all of that was my fault.
He also claimed that he's 100 lbs overweight because of me... But has only gained weight since he moved out.
I'm tired of everything being my fault.
His cholesterol was high - my fault,
Overweight? My fault.
Poor relationship with D? My fault.
Not where he wants to be in his career? My fault.
PTSD? I did that.
Yeah, it's all my fault.
Anyway, I've applied for many other positions near here and only one in NorCal. We'll see how things go.
