Fresh separation - trying to play by the book

[Mozza]

Reading through the boards, I feel that perhaps what I'm doing through DB is getting my W to trust me again. The trust is very low between us, with the impression that we're out there to annoy and hurt each other. When she flew off the handle for something minor, it was resolved when I asked her to trust me I'm not trying to hurt her. I could see the relief in her body language and she said it out loud, that it helped.

I'm curious to know what people think about this email exchange I posted a couple of days earlier. In April, my wife wrote me she needed me to listen to her and that she was suffering. My response was merely polite, borderline cold. It fills me with guilt for not listening to her. How bad is it? Anyone else unearthed such evidence of pattern and past behavior? How can I use this information now?