Baby steps, patience and uncertainty

[labug]

One day she finally grasped that unexpected things were always going to happen in life. And with that she realized the only control she had was how she chose to handle them. So she made the decision to survive using courage, humor and grace. She was the queen of her own life and the choice was hers.

I wanted to bring this over here 'cause it so succinctly captures my own journey and I said almost the same thing, to my IC last week.

It's been an eventful 3-4 weeks. My MIL had to have emergency, middle-of-the night surgery. She's 88. Not the late night phone call you want to get. She's recovering nicely at 4 wks out but has some residual issues. My SIL has stayed with us some during this time and we've created a new and better R than we had before. This after I thought we'd never have a R, no matter what. Just goes to show what trying to predict the future is useless and life moves to its own beat.

My MIL has really latched on to me and can't say enough good things about me to the point that it's uncomfortable. She does have age-related dementia but I'm just curious about her sudden need to talk about this. They are not expressive people in that way so it may be her dementia has opened up that part of her brain. We've always had a good R but we weren't best friends. It's nice but curious. I'm glad she feels the love.

S21 is stuck, if anyone has read the book BrainLock-that's where he is. I may have to read it again. H and I have made some difficult decisions and are going to talk with him about boundaries and choices. We haven't because we need it to be a time when we're all 3 able to be present, not just in body but also in mind and spirit. So Thursday it is.

There's also a difficult work situation I'm dealing with but I'm handling it. Had to do an extra IC appt but I just needed bolstering. In the past that type of thing would have hit me like a ton of bricks and it's in these times that I can see that my changes are real and lasting.

I am the sky, everything else is just the weather. That's my goal.