Something happened this morning that was surprisingly hurtful. Since my W left I have avoided going on Facebook. I figured there was nothing on there that could do me any good and I really didn't want to see when my W changed her status to "single" for sure. Since then I have gotten several notices that my W has posted or shared a link but I haven't looked. Well, this morning I got a notice that my W had shared a link and the topic was "Man says his song is for his wife...." and I decided that I'd look.
When all my M troubles came to a head on B-day, after that I was really lost. During that time there was one song in particular that I really related to and listened to often. That was "Make you feel my love" by Bob Dylan. It sort of summed up how I was feeling at the time. I still can't listen to that song without getting teary. Well, the link my W "shared" was a guy on America's Got Talent singing THAT song to his wife! He did a really great job and everyone loved it. All I can think of is how in the world can my W listen to those words, watch a couple that are so clearly devoted to each other and not feel a thing about the loss of her own M? Of all the millions of songs that there are in the world she posted that one? Doesn't she see the disconnect between what that song is about, the person singing it and the M couple sharing the moment together and what she is doing to her own family and M?
I really thought I was past getting this upset about the loss of my M and anything my W could say or do. Kind of makes me think of the line from Casablanca.."Of all the gin joints in all the world she had to walk into mine", Of all the songs in all the world, my W had to post a heartfelt rendition of THAT song! What happened to the woman who cries at movies and reads romance novels and gets teary eyed? How can she just not see or care how her actions have hurt me and her girls? How can she listen to that song and watch that video and not feel anything?
I know that there are no answers to any of those questions. That I will never understand why she ran from the last 26 years, she doesn't even know the answer to that. It just hit home how lost she is and how totally over my M really is and that feeling s@cks!
