W asked me to send an email showing how I have changed. I have not yet done this.
And I guess I wonder if there's any benefit to that. You're not trying to prove anything to her -- she has to realize what you are or have become, and what she would be living without. I think that's the only way this works. On the other hand, I suppose such an email would be free.
Quote:
W has now come to realize she has borderline personality disorder.
The diagnosis is no shock. That W realizes it is a step forward. Now comes the tough part -- will she deal with it, or use the diagnosis as an excuse.
Quote:
I find it ironic she can send me this information, and then rant and spew at me with impunity.
I have struggled with this dissonance as well. In your mind, she is lashing out at someone who most wants to help her with the problem. You are her biggest cheerleader, if only she would realize that. But in her mind, your helpfulness is part of the problem. It's helpful-Dev trying to tell her how to be happy, trying to fix things, being controlling. And even if you identify the most beneficial path forward with the best of intentions, she may do the exact opposite to the point of self destruction, just to have control.
Quote:
I'm going to check into different treatments so I can ask her about them.
As I said, presenting this back to her in a way that doesn't make her reject it because it comes from you will be the trick.
