Fresh separation - trying to play by the book

[Mozza]

I had drinks with a friend last night and he was so spot on the DB technique, without having read anything about it, that it was eery. Detach, move on, get a life, become attractive, let her evolve, etc. I thought it couldn't be done on instinct, but apparently people outside of the situation see things much more clearly than we do.

He was adamant that I should cut the last ties that we have (except the kids!), namely all the stuff that she left in the home. In theory, she took everything, but every week she finds something new that she forgot. There are things I'm fully aware she left behind (dolls, DVDs, books) and there are things that are more ambiguous because we bought everything together for over 9 years. I'm not keen on having her come back for another round. I'm thinking of packing a suitcase with the leftover stuff and tell her it's over after that. It's very painful every time she asks for something new (I had a good cry next to the ice skates...). The downside is that part of me thinks sending her stuff is all a waste of time since she'll come back and that it suggests she might know she'll come back. The upside is that it gives me a bit of control over the breakup and make her realize she might lose control of this whole process. I don't want to rush thing either.

Advice?