Sandi - Instead of viewing my sitch as unique because we had a non-monogamous relationship for a time, I think it would be more accurate to think of my M as having a history of infidelity on both sides. Mostly inappropriate communication, and very little PA or EA, although those have occurred recently.
The 'open' or non-monogamous portion of my M was brief, relatively, and absolutely a huge mistake that we both thought wasn't at the time.
I don't believe that I can't benefit from other's advice given my / our circumstances. As it stands now, we are trying the 'nesting' starting this week.
I think that if my M is to be reconciled, perhaps I need to give my W her space to figure out what she needs to figure out. I am continuing to work on me, seeing IC, examining my responsibilities and priorities, etc.
I am only asking for advice on how I should interact with my WAW, in light of my equal transgressions, but still very much the one that feels he is the LBS, and wants his M to change. DB and DR don't seem to address sitch's where both spouses have As, one in the past, one currently, etc. The books tend to lean on one spouse being faithful, and the other not.
