Yes, I think my H was woken up to the fact that there are no easy roads to take at this point. Each road carries some big loss, and it is hard to face that.

I"m just keeping my boundary in place and trying to GAL - but it is hard sometimes. I think I manage to appear detached from him. But I struggle not to remain attached to an outcome (him choosing me.) So I keep working on that.

He still seems to be all over the place, but from what I have heard seems to be more towards OW at the moment. That said, he's really struggling with 'separation related' things we are doing now - trying to re-home a much loved pet etc.

Only you can decide on your boundaries - but the advice all concurs that the worst long term resolution is a 'stable triangle' where S and OP get 'crumbs' from the WS.

So, the fun continues....:-)

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus