My STBX replied to my email. She asked about the amount of payment I intended to provide in December. She expressed concerns about her ability to provide for the children in December and give them a happy holiday. She used the word 'frankly' twice, the phrase 'I need to know what's expected of me' twice, and mentioned that the email had 'hit her hard'.
First off, you all know 'hitting her hard' was the last thing I wanted to do. But what I'm excited about is that it didn't start world war three. At least not yet! Just like the books say, I allowed fearing the worst to scare me into inaction. The reity is that I am only taking what is fair. A home for myself where I can have my children. As a very successful professional that isn't excessive.
So now the wheels are TURNING. Looking for places to live. Gettin insurance quotes to propose a budget to my attorney, and a list of documents (bank statements and tax returns, etc) to get an idea of what a support payment should look like. Seperating cell phone plans. And tying up a few loose ends before startin my new job Monday. Oh...did I mention its commission sales, that my support payments will probably equate to y base pay and my only personal income will be the commission I will be paid in a new gig? Scary! Except for the fact that I know the business and have a proven track record of being the best. I will not allow myself to fail!
So while there is quite a bit coming at me, I feel 100% up to taking it all on and succeeding. I have a clear picture of where I want to be in 3, 6, 12, and 24 months with regards to career and finances. I want to be financial stable with some reserves, thrive in my new job, be in good physical shape, continue to dominate in the regional pool scene for extra income, be a better dad than ever, and spend time living passionately with my friends doing what I love, and continuing to grow into a healthier man. That will keep me busy! At some point as I achieve those goals I can make room in my life for a romantic R. But In addition to waiting for the D to finalize and some time to pass to ensure im not walking away from my M too soon, I want to succeed independently first so I know I am in a healthy spot and not looking to have someone else be responsible for me or my happiness. Again, nothing but time, the sweet gift of time.
Having all of these hurdles swirling around in my head had been overwhelmingly scary, but now that I'm in action I see there isn't any one of them that will stop me. So from scared to empowered and excited to have a mission and purpose to start driving forward again.
Oh, and finished No More Mr Nice Guy. Some very good stuff. Not all applied to me, but enough did I felt it was a tremendous aid. I'd recommend it to everyone here, because as an LBS I think we all fall into nice guy mode. And that doesn't work! Book report later. Have a great day and thank you all!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
