EA then PA with her ex

[Anaru]

Thanks Toots & Sandi - really appreciate the feedback
Further discussion with W later in the afternoon helped clear the air further about my standpoint and her mindset right now.
I am still trying to get my head around the DR approach as it applies to my situation
- how to detach but still get support/deal with my emotions about the situation (visiting my friends & relatives last week really reminded me that I am an OK person)
- main issue I have is now detaching in terms of physical contact - hugs/kisses & sex. On the one hand I felt that it is rebuilding bridges & intimacy between us, but on the other hand it is "maintaining cake" to cite ChumpLady i.e. she gets ego strokes and physical intimacy from me and strokes (tho no more sex she says) from OM
- how to maintain clarity w W that what she is doing - continuing to see OM as friend - is not OK by any standard and she needs to sort herself out (without getting into argument or letting her rewrite history etc) - she maintains she want to back off
- not fall into argument traps
- also mulling whether to move forward with separation of bank accounts/move my salary from the joint account (I am the breadwinner) as sign I am moving forward
- also still not sure what to tell my sons (14/18/20), if anything

Meeting my MC this week or next for last session for time being. Very DB-like approach. Her main advice is focus on GAL for myself