I do feel like a sissie at times, I don't feel brave and worst of all at times I really hate being in my head!
Last weeks pitty party a prime example, why me why can't I behave as pathetic as every one else kicks dirt [censored] thumb. Why can't I be considered first, why aren't my feelings and stuff first for another human of any sort!
I'm over it now and nurse who works with me said it can be a side effect of my contraception! Oh goodie and other issue caused by h! Today tho back to normal cracking jokes and laughing genuinely with customers.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
just blippeed in to take a look - sorry you're pensive & blue today-
your lists and co mments - "bingo". you sure touched on it all. klike you- i'd have croaked (probably) without this forum and the peole who have understood and held my hand - without judgement - with knowledge and sympathy - thru this. i'm feeling drastically radical today- at this minute i do not even want to know this man or see his face.
it is sad isn't it? it COULD destroy your faith (in love, men, sanity, truwe love, people, marriage, love, the one we used to love and cherish above all else (even ourselves sometimes) and what they have be come...
The "they are suffering too". "Frankly my dear - i don't give a damn." Even Rhett could be driven away - in the end. turns out (sadly) you probably can really KILL TRUE LOVE - if you try hard enough. (they are, aren't they?)
my h is like Scarlett - all about him. I'd say, honestly, he is not suffering all that much.
you hit nail on head with the " w3e stop talking, stop from expressing ourselves, can't sleep , can't eat - can't be ourselves - are treated like a person they cant stand to be around (????) why? so they can treat us cold & bad for another bazillion years. It's odd that it is soooo ALL ABOUT THEM. IF MY h EVER IN A million years felt the pain i have last five years or so - no joke - he'd crumble and die or would have run away very first moment he found out. being up to "the challenge" or "fighting" for this R, this life, me- i do not think it enters his brain.
I overestimated him for ever - (perhaps) i'm not feeling the pity and sympathy for his plight. i think it's honestly just selfishness & greed for sensation.
You also said, correctly, they are suffering as a result of their own (stupid & selfish actions/feelings) nothing to do with us other than a handy scape goat.
i am feeling "hard" today- h is with ow and i'm here by self. he wants to be oblivious and he is. nothing in the world is his doing, responsibility, or problem. - he thinks my life and heart are just a joke - honestly- it's a game he plays. .he honestly thinks this is something like "boyish charm" and so on.
he does not care or care to see the devastation he wreaks.
i am pretty tired of being non-existent.
i have alot of bad days- i wonder like mad, like you, what's real and what's too beyond belief to expect or wait for.
will they fight? can they "come back" - i do not think for one moment my h wonders if i'll ever love him or , so on. i f you think that your h wonders that, then i'd say that's why you're dbing. i have no reason to think i have that here.
i hope you feel better - i'm just sayin "yeah - you aint just whistlin dixie" man.
